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How do you solve a problem like Barrowman? Written by on February 28, 2012 | 11 Comments

A simple question. Is it the end of the world if the United Kingdom pick John Barrowman to sing at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest?

No.

In fact, I think it would be a pretty smart choice by the BBC. It might not fit in with people’s cookie cutter view of who the UK should be sending, but there is no design or checklist for a country’s performer. Did Lordi scream ‘Eurovision’ when they made it through that Finnish National Final? How about The Olsen Brothers? T.A.T.u?

If you step back and look at the requirements and desirable features, then many of the names that are being seriously thrown about in UK press and the Facebook communities would be perfectly acceptable to the public.

Let’s not kid ourselves – in the perfect world the BBC would be able to walk up to the finalists in the Brit Awards, ask them to do a few hours with a new song on ‘Later… with Jools Holland,’ and that’s the British entry sorted out. That’s never going to happen.

This will not happen in Baku (Jess Price / Flickr)

What’s more likely, given historical precedent, is that the BBC are going to look for someone who is a bit more of a “Beeb person”, who’s worked with many shows, is a known quantity, and can be relied upon. An ‘in-house’ candidate. Blue might have been the first UK act to have no input from the UK viewers in terms of performer or song, but they were favoured by the Corporation. Likewise with Andrew Lloyd Webber (even though Jade Ewen was the singer, it was the Lord’s year), Lulu, Cliff Richard, Michael Ball, The Shadows… all safe choices from the BBC stables.

Which leads me back to John Barrowman, who I’m going to use as a lightning rod for the next few paragraphs (especially after some of the comments when he featured in last week’s podcast).

There’s part of me that sees the Eurovision Song Contest as one of the biggest variety shows on the planet. There is music, there is drama, there is performance, danger, jokes, quiet reflective moments, and Jedward. Certainly it’s a Saturday night spectacular, and there are rules of thumb about variety shows delivered as prime time international broadcasts.

It’s one of the reasons that Graham Norton was the only real choice to replace Terry Wogan as the UK commentator – Saturday night TV demands a big star name, who can hold the bill together. In my opinion the only other choice that would have made star-power sense at the time was Jonathan Ross. Paddy “those men have forgotten their wives”  O’Connell may have been a fan favourite, but could he sell a Saturday night slot on BBC1 to the public?

And that’s why I keep coming back to question the idea that the UK should never choose John Barrowman. He is a “Mr Saturday Night”. If he was born forty years earlier he would be Val Parnell’s master card, holding court each week at the London Palladium. Even now, if you look carefully in the wings of Strictly Come Dancing, you can see his shadowy ghost at the top of a flight of stairs, waiting for Sir Bruce Forsythe to pass just within his reach.

That’s the sort of star Eurovision in the UK needs. A good old fashioned top of the bill singer, known to the producers, who can be relied upon to deliver for the public.

This might... (Paula Funnell / Flickr)

John Barrowman has previously put aside the idea of singing for the UK (“politics” has been the easy line to take), but as has been proven by many countries, a good song and performance will always be more powerful than diaspora voting. Lloyd Webber’s fifth place in Moscow,  Germany’s victory the following year, and the strong return of Italy with a Jazz number are the most recent examples of the song winning out.

Ultimately anyone representing their country has to want to do it, has to be well rounded in singing, performing, and working the press and media circuit. They should have some name recognition in the UK and abroad, but it’s more important they have knowledge and experience to draw on.

Would I be happy to see John Barrowman on the Baku stage? Yes, I would. Right Said Fred? McFly? Geri Halliwell? The Proclaimers? Bucks Fizz? Yes, yes, yes. What the UK, no, strike that, what any country needs is a great song, with a well rounded star that can put on a great performance. Not everyone will agree with the choice, but we all want a name that we’ll happily sew onto our oversized national flags while we enjoy the Song Contest for what it is.

The greatest variety show on the planet.

About The Author: Ewan Spence

British Academy (BAFTA) nominated broadcaster and writer Ewan Spence is the voice behind The Unofficial Eurovision Song Contest Podcast and one of the driving forces behind ESC Insight. Having had an online presence since 1994, he is a noted commentator around the intersection of the media, internet, technology, mobility and how it affects us all. Based in Edinburgh, Scotland, his work has appeared on the BBC, The Stage, STV, and The Times. You can follow Ewan on Twitter (@ewan) and Facebook (facebook.com/ewanspence).

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Have Your Say

11 responses to “How do you solve a problem like Barrowman?”

  1. Seán says:

    It still will never make sense why the UK, in spite of having one of the biggest music industries in Europe cannot send anyone who isn’t a joke/unknown/reforming band (or combination of all three). I’m not saying anything against Barrowman but it really annoys me that no big name is prepared to come forward in spite of the proven success of the Big 5 over the last 3 years.

    On a separate note, I do suspect that the BBC have picked the singer. They’re just going to annoy us for a while and try to build some excitement that way. For a while it worked and I thought they were going to pull out a big name and cruise into ESC as one of the favorites. That thought fades everyday……..

  2. Ben says:

    For me, the UK representative should be someone who, not only represents our country’s music in a strong (and relevant) way, but someone who can represent Eurovision back on home shores. It works both ways. It’s no secret that the UK public and media are clinging for dear life to the idea that Eurovision is a camp, pathetic, political joke, despite constantly being proven 90% wrong. If we were to send John Barrowman, what kind of message does that send to the UK public? – That is indeed a camp, pathetic, political joke. They might support John Barrowman nevertheless, but when he comes anywhere outside the top 10 because his song was a commercially irrelevant showtune, it’s everyone else’s fault.

    We don’t necessarily need a huge star to represent the UK, we just need a great song that Europe can identify the United Kingdom with, that will have some appeal to all the cultures of Europe, (and western Asia,) that either sounds current, or is potentially timeless.

    The Beeb should be turning to the under the radar pop stars that can be found on Vevo such as Clare Maguire or Jess Mills, or should be turning to singer-songwriters, and no I don’t mean Ellie flipping Goulding! I mean people like Jo Hamilton… ever wondered what a Brtiish ethnic entry might sound like? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muIV5ByVpPw

  3. Ewan Spence says:

    Ben, agreed on the under the radar singers. If you were to ask the BBC’s roster of DJ to come up with the short list (I’d suggest a panel with Vic Galloway, Bob Harris, Jools Holland, Bruce Dickinson, and Jo Wiley) we’d get some fantastic names.

    I’ll throw one back at you as well, Lisa Redford: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2w_rmMwH20

  4. Ewan Spence says:

    Oh, and with my “tongue in my cheek” does that mean the UK should never send anyone who… likes musicals and show tunes?

  5. Seán says:

    I think that if the UK wants to get better results it’s about expectation management of the Tabloid newspapers.

    It practically the same in Ireland – maybe one day we can send Dead Cat Bounce.

  6. Ewan Spence says:

    You can only send Dead Cat Bounce if they promise to play the Rugby song at Euroclub.

  7. The issue will always be the British public’s perception of the contest. Im 15 and am ridiculed by friends for even watching the contest. Which explains why I have kept quiet the fact I have a website and write about the contest. It’s the public’s perception of the contest that means that many artists wont touch it with a barge pole, the news before and after the contest shows exactly what people think the contest is, the papers will be covered with the “perfect” eurovision entry, which was made by some proffesor with way to much spare time that sounds like an 6 years old went mad with sounds and words.

    We need a song to begin with that works and will appeal to the mainstream market, yes Lordi and Italy last year were not so mainstream and did well but trying to do a repeat will never work. We then need someone who can carry the song and make it what it needs to be. In 2010 Josh had a brilliant voice throughout the selection process, but the song let him down.

    In a final comment, I just wish the BBC would actually say when they are making an announcement because at this minute we have heard more from San Marino which says something.

  8. Seán says:

    It’s the same in Ireland Anthony. I don’t think my friends would ridicule me. They’d be too polite. I just don’t think that they’d look at me the same way the next day.

    That’s sort of why fans of the contest turned to the internet when ESC fandom went on line….and why so many blogs and websites exist.

    Of course if Ireland won suddenly everyone would love it and be a “life long fan and expert” (i.e. able to roughly name a couple of winning songs)

  9. Chad says:

    Well it’s Engelbert Humperdinck so what dya think about that? lol

  10. Ewan Spence says:

    I think the BBC have either played a blinder, or it’s going to go horribly wrong. No middle ground. Second or Last!

  11. Ewan, seen that you have been defending the contest throughout the day in the comments sections on the papers. I fustrates me that every year people moan about the contest, if they don’t like it don’t watch it but you can’t moan about the 20 million who tuned in last year to watch the contest in the UK. I think that Engelburt if pulled off right could be brilliant, he is still selling out dates and could get a fair few votes from the older generation, seeming that at the minute no entrants seem to be under the age of 35. I really feel until the song is released we will have no idea, I really do hope however that it works out.

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