A worldwide combined audience of 120 million (give or take a few rounding errors) and just over 10,000 tickets for Malmö Arena. Not everyone can make it to the Eurovision Song Contest, but spare a thought for friend of the parish Denis McEvoy. The tickets were booked, the hotel was waiting, and then his pesky romantic friends got in the way. Not just ‘not going to Eurovision’ but ‘having Eurovision taken away from you.’ This is McEvoy’s story of his Eurovision in Exile.
Forget Post-Eurovision Depression, what about the depressive power of not being able to get to the contest at all? It may be a bit of a downer to return to paying for public transport, but imagine forlornly staring into a drawer at a 3-year-old accreditation pass and wondering where its magical free travel capabilities went.
It’s an odd old life being a Eurovision fan, but it’s one I gladly signed up for. However, up until a few years ago I hadn’t publically owned up to my hardcore fan status. Let’s face it, there’s a level of fandom which the Contest seems to strongly encourage by its very nature. A nature that is equally scoffed at and ridiculed… in the British Isles at least. How often have you found yourself ramming ‘fun’ Eurovision facts down the throats of family and friends? The worst part is seeing the transition of facial expression from feigned interest to pained grimace in less time than it takes to mention ‘Jahn Teigen’.
As an Irish Eurovision fan over the last twenty odd years there’s been quite a number of ups and spectacular downs (the Mullen Sisters, Gary O’Saughnessy, Chris Doran, Donna & Joe… the list unfortunately goes on). However, through all the years of drama, failures and sparse success I would have happily offered up a limb in return for a Eurovision ticket.
When I was younger I vowed that if Ireland won again I’d be on the phone to The Point Theatre box office the next morning trying to book tickets. After managing to get to Copenhagen for the 50th Anniversary show back in 2005 I eventually attended the contest proper in Oslo five years later.
Missing Malmö
So, what happens when you’ve had that taste of Eurovision and then it’s pulled away from you like candy from the proverbial baby? Well, quite frankly, there’s a lot of huffing, puffing and cursing of college assignments, work commitments and, as is the case this year, Polish weddings. Circumstance conspired yet again to rip from me the delights of judging, grumbling and nitpicking my way through two weeks in May.
The plans for a Malmö adventure began in earnest last August. The cheap as chips hostel was booked and the investigation into cheap air fares was underway. The only problem was that May 18, 2013 turned out to strike some friends in Poland as the perfect date to get hitched.
It took a while, but the penny eventually dropped. My return to the Eurovision bubble would have to wait another year. What’s another year- (oi! – Ed.). Sorry!
Somewhere in here is a Song Contest
That said, the hotel booking was only cancelled the week before the rehearsals began in Malmö. As a nation, the Poles had helpfully decided to take a break from Eurovision before the 2012 contest and still haven’t come back. TVP actually can’t even be bothered airing the final anymore. So that put me in a pretty sticky situation. But, I wasted no time in booking a room in the hotel where the wedding reception was being held.
There are several ways of coping with not being at the Contest. One is following the stage diary kept by Ola Melzig of M&M Production Management, who’s been responsible for the Eurovision stage construction for several years now. Sneak peeks of the arena and stage are a lifeline for an exiled fan.
As the circus of artists, delegations, journalists and fans roll into town an increased dosage of Eurovision updates are just what the doctor ordered. ‘Ewan and ‘ here kept me sane again this year. The daily podcast serving of an half hour of updates, reviews and general analysis really managed to give that delicious glimpse of what it’s really like to be in Malmö. Living vicariously through other people’s experiences, however, comes to an abrupt end with the guitars. The daily routine becomes checking the website from about midday on and wondering ‘Why the hell is it still not up yet? Oh no, maybe there won’t be one today.’ Try explaining that kind of irrational behaviour to a non fan without sounding slightly like a junkie.
Party for Everybody, Gdańsk
No matter how successful the prescribed course of treatment, the horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach gets you eventually. The kind where the excitement of the imminent contest collides with the disappointment of not being there in person.
Being one of the most open years since well em… 2011, this year provided a double-edged sword of excitement and dread. The excitement that Ireland could be on to a good thing and the dread that I’d miss the moment Ireland would lift the crown. Turns out I had nothing to worry about on that score!
Sweden in Poland… via Slovenia
With the semi finals safely watched and tweeted about from the safety of a Dublin apartment it was off to Poland for the wedding come Eurovision. When Saturday arrived a schedule of several hours of wedding mass, celebrations and gut-stuffing had to be gotten out of the way before 9 O’Clock. Then it was time to rush to the hotel room to catch the first bars of Te Deum belted out on an illicit cable signal courtesy of a Slovenian TV broadcast.
Now I don’t have a lick of Slovenian, but Andrej Horfer, the commentator, didn’t sound best pleased that their Hannah had been unceremoniously dumped out of the competition the previous Tuesday. Again my lack of Slovene made it pretty damn tricky to hear the titbits of humour the Swedes were trying to inject after the unintentionally comedic hosting of last year’s trio in Baku.
A funny by-product of watching the contest in another country was that there was a renewed sense of excitement about the whole thing. It may not have been a front row seat at the Malmö Arena, but it was one hell of a Eurovision-Polish wedding sandwich with a generous dollop of Slovenian commentary thrown in for good measure.
If you find yourself in the position of not being able to go to Denmark next May I can recommend no better way of spicing up your Eurovision experience. Turns out it was exactly the medicine the doctor ordered for this Eurovision junkie.