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Where’s the UK Stefan Raab? He’s hiding at BBC Scotland Written by on May 31, 2012 | 30 Comments

There’s a lot of strong opinion on the United Kingdom and the BBC’s involvement with the Eurovision Song Contest online. I did promise in my last article that I had an answer. This is it.

It might not be right, it might have a number of implementation problems for the BBC, but it’s doable, treads on as few internal toes as possible, and could easily result in a respectable finishing position from the 2013 Contest.

We’ve identified the culprit – it’s not the rest of Europe, political voting, Balkan Block Voting, or anyone else. It’s the BBC. The plan they had simply did not work. That doesn’t mean they’ll walk away, though.

The BBC Will Never Drop the Eurovision Song Contest

Let’s start here. There’s no way the BBC will ever drop Eurovision.

Yes the raw viewing figures were down this year on last year, but it was unseasonably good weather on May 26th 2012, Look at the market share of 36.2% of everyone watching; an average of 7.47 million viewers (peaking to 9.6 million for the results). How well did the flagship show ‘The Voice’ do earlier in the night? A 28.8% share and 4.49 million viewers.

Eurovision has popular support, and the BBC budget planners will support it as well. The entrance fee for Eurovision is around £295,000. I’m extrapolating that from our Freedom of Information request on the 2009 and 2010 Contests which cost £279,805 and £283,190 to enter respectively. EBU membership for the BBC is around £10 million per year, so it’s a very small part of our contribution.

Production costs on top of that? That’s a tougher call, but my best guess is there’s another £200,000 in there for all the BBC activites – with no National Final to produce in the last two years the Eurovsion department has managed to weather the cuts the BBC implemented across the board better than some.

Total estimated cost, about half a million pounds.

The Voice? Licencing alone was £22 million for two years, and the production costs are on top of that. Simply put, The Eurovision Song Contest is an absolute bargain. If the BBC were to cancel it, they would need to find more money to replace the three hours of empty Saturday night scheduling.

It’s value for money, it delivers an audience, it serves the BBC charter very well, and it’s part of the BBC’s heritage. It’s staying with Auntie.

The UK dancers know what;s about to happen

The UK dancers know what's about to happen

The BBC can promote Eurovision, but not their Song for Europe

Part of the success of the Eurovision Song Contest in the UK has to go down to the BBC promotional machine. In the two weeks leading up to the Contest it popped up on a number of properties, including BBC Breakfast, The One Show, various radio shows (including good old Ken Bruce doing a three hour preview from outside the Crystal Hall), and in the national press. Nobody in the UK could miss the fact the Contest was happening, and we had Engelbert Humperdink singing for us.

All that press delivered the impressive viewing figures, and one of those ‘water cooler’ TV shows that everyone talks about. What it failed to deliver was votes for the United Kingdom. If the majority of publicity was inward facing and promoting the show as a whole, how will people on the continent – the people who can vote for the UK! – know about the song, about the artist, and build up the affinity needed to make them pick up the phone and cast their vote for The Hump.

Even the slogan ‘Get Behind The Hump‘ felt more like a rallying call to the UK public than a call to action for the rest of Europe.

The UK press team displayed the ability to promote a UK TV show to a UK audience. What they didn’t do was spend the weeks and months leading up to Song Contest promoting the song around Europe, making it into a hit, getting the artist known, and the tune lodged in the memory of every Eurovision fan.  If the BBC Press Team could do that, the chances are they would be working in the music industry.

And there’s our answer.

The Twin Approach to the BBC and Eurovision

There’s no doubt in my mind that the BBC deliver the seven hours of Eurovision to the millions of UK viewers with skill and panache. It’s a big production and the social media buzz, viewing figures, and audience appreciation figures back up that view. I just feel the delegation team is focused more on the end product of the pictures on the screen than on the song.

So let’s split the duties.

However the BBC decide the current production team and delegation members, keep doing that. But these people are now labelled “Delegation / Production”. Anything to do with the actual entry from the United Kingdom, from short-listing and selection, through promotion and marketing, to performance and PR during Eurovision Week goes to a new team… “Delegation / Music” and whoever is the head of this has complete authority over the artist and their movements. Their only job is to win the Contest. Not to put on a TV show, not to keep half an eye on the BBC charter, not to keep the press at home happy… it is to win Eurovision

Immediately after the end of this year’s Eurovision Song Contest, the BBC’s Moscow correspondent Steven Rosenberg put me in front of a camera (along with a bundle of other UK fans) and asked if we were upset, and what should happen next. I rather forcefully suggested that the BBC needed strong leadership and if Simon Cowell has offered to do Eurovision for the BBC then they should take him up on his offer.

We need a British Bjorkman

We need a British Bjorkman

Having slept on it, I still think it’s a wonderful idea. If Sweden have their Christer Bjorkman and Germany have Stefan Raab, then the United Kingdom need to have a figurehead who understands music, who understands the industry, and has a huge address book.

Cowell might put too many noses out of joint at the BBC (I can’t help think that mentioning Eurovision is leverage for a better ITV deal…), and it would become ‘The Simon Cowell Show’, not a BBC production, but the principle of a musical leader, championing the song and artist, and nothing else is one that will deliver a result and should be implemented immediately.

Who Does The Country Need?

To keep everything stable, we need someone known to, or who works for the BBC.  We need someone who knows music. Not just Top 40 chart music, but is open to new music from around the country, all those quirky bands, performers, and solo artists that have huge underground followings, but who can command a stage and cope with the unique pressures a big gig can deliver. We need someone who is so immersed in music that he can plan the musical entry for 2013 now.

So what if the “Delegation / Production” team won’t sit down round a table until after Strictly Come Dancing ends in December? We need our Head of Music to be beating the drums now, to find the perfect performer, to get them into every single National Final show to expose them to Europe, to work industry contacts, to strong-arm the rest of the corporation into supporting the 2013 singer.

Sign that person up now, on a twelve month contract. Production can wait, the music can’t.

There is one man who ticks all the boxes. There is a man who knows the UK music scene like no other, who I believe would pick up the challenge of Eurovision and become our Raab. There is a man who can bring glory back to the United Kingdom. We just need to believe in him. He just needs to believe in Eurovision. He needs to believe in himself.

We need the man behind BBC Scotland’s New Music, bringing unsigned, underground, and under the radar music to listeners across the country, with great music and live sessions. Who bleeds new music. Who knows the music scene.

Vic Galloway, your country needs you… even if the rest of the Eurovision world has never heard of you.

Vic Galloway, our Eurovision leader?

Vic Galloway, our Eurovision leader?

 

About The Author: Ewan Spence

British Academy (BAFTA) nominated broadcaster and writer Ewan Spence is the voice behind The Unofficial Eurovision Song Contest Podcast and one of the driving forces behind ESC Insight. Having had an online presence since 1994, he is a noted commentator around the intersection of the media, internet, technology, mobility and how it affects us all. Based in Edinburgh, Scotland, his work has appeared on the BBC, The Stage, STV, and The Times. You can follow Ewan on Twitter (@ewan) and Facebook (facebook.com/ewanspence).

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Have Your Say

30 responses to “Where’s the UK Stefan Raab? He’s hiding at BBC Scotland”

  1. Eenie says:

    I was with you right up until the point where I’d never heard of Vic Galloway. Great piece otherwise though!

  2. Ewan Spence says:

    Eenie, I think the argument about splitting Music/Production up is the big one, but who to put in the Music slot? It needs to be someone BBC, and someone who knows music. There’s a handful of names that could do it, but my gut says it’s Galloway. If you trust me on the rest of the article, trust me on the last paragraph as well!

  3. Eric Graf says:

    Gotta disagree with you on this one, Ewan. Taking the BBC out of the music production business is a good idea, but there I must draw the line.

    The ONLY way the UK is going to win Eurovision is to send a genuine, card-carrying international HIT SONG.

    Easier said than done, I know, but The Hump had no chance of having a hit song in 2012. Josh Dubovie had no chance of having a hit song in a million years. The UK needs to look at what is happening right smack in the center of the European musical mainstream, right now (“now” being as close to the contest as practical), and SEND THAT.

    I’m not familiar with Vic Galloway, but from your description he’s much too “alternative”. That’s not what the UK needs at all. That doesn’t get you Loreen. That gets you Rambo Amadeus. If you were lucky, you’d get a cool alternative band with lots of street cred and a great song, sitting at the bottom of the big board with Norway as Graham Norton mournfully reminds us what a good job they did.

    What’s Lady Gaga’s production team doing these days? If the UK is serious, then pay them enough to stop doing it and do Eurovision instead. Heck, get Lady Gaga herself!

  4. Ciaran says:

    Give the post to a chimp, they could do a better job.

    The current BBC strategy is to start in January to beg any hasbeen to sing for the UK, and give them any old song, completely ignore the whole thing until a week or two before the contest when the artist goes on a tour of the UK, drag in Arlene Phillips to choreograph, and there we have it, a UK eurovision entry.

  5. Tom C says:

    I absolutely agree with the Vic Galloway suggestion. Being Australian I don’t really have much idea of who he is, but the plan of action sounds exactly like what the UK needs. By sending mediocre singers singing mediocre songs, as they have done in recent years, the UK tries to appeal to everybody but ultimately appeals to nobody. At least by sending a relatively unknown act singing something traditionally un-Eurovision with substance the BBC could not only gain the support of this act’s existing fan base but also gain the viewership of this group as well. Conversely, the independent music listener tends to be the most militant about the ‘artistic integrity’ of their favourite acts, so the artist in question would have to be careful about their future career choices for fear of alienating their already small fan community by doing Eurovision.

  6. The huge issue is that the BBC seems to think that promotion this year counts as appearing on the UK tv and Irish TV and nothing else. Even Josh Dubovie went to the Netherlands onto TV to get some votes. The BBC really need to take an artist onto the big shows in countries that we know we can get votes from and then get into the Eastern Bloc. The song is important and so is the singer but making sure that people have heard it before the night is important, people remember when artists appear on TV and it worked with Jade in 2009.

  7. Marcus says:

    The BBC should grab David G Arnold. He is a composer, producer and is currently director of music for the 2012 Olympics. Check out his wikipedia entry for greater detail on his background. He was also on the UK jury last year (the ones who gave Switzerland 12 points) and on Saturday after Eurovision he had a mini twitter rant saying there was no excuse for the BBC not sending a decent song every year regardless of negative myths or beliefs about Eurovision. An event which gets such huge audience figures deserves more respect. He also had a little spat with Mike Batt who said the contest was “shit” (good enough for his friggin wombles in 1974). See his timeline for more @DavidGArnold.

  8. Ewan Spence says:

    Agreed – same principle, separate the “production” and “music” duties, and choose someone with the relevant background. I;d be happy with Arnold as well. Maybe we need to do a Top Ten options for “Delegation/Music” Head?

  9. Ciaran says:

    “The BBC really need to take an artist onto the big shows in countries that we know we can get votes from and then get into the Eastern Bloc.”

    Actually, Uk does better with Eastern block than western block.

    We got more eastern points than western points every year from 2009-2012

    The two sets of 12 we got in that period were also only from Eastern Countries.

  10. Ben says:

    I wouldn’t want Simon Cowell heading up our entry personally. I don’t think Simon Cowell would do anything unless it made him at least £5 million, and he would work the UK’s Eurovision participation in such a way to demand the British public’s undivided attention for a couple of months in that most obnoxious way BGT and X Factor does, and he would probably champion some hack off one of said shows, instead of getting us a proper song.

    It makes me think about the bollocks that falls from Phillip “know-nothing” Schofield when he says that we could send Robbie Williams and we still wouldn’t win. Well no, he wouldn’t, if he entered something like Morning Sun from his 2009 album, and spent his three minutes on stage shouting at the crowd trying to get the audience up into a frenzy instead of singing the bloody song.

    I love Robbie Williams, but we need somebody who understands Eurovision is not a mini-concert for them, it’s a song competition above all else, and no matter who you are, if you do not have the best song, you will not win. Simon Cowell, eehh, I just think he would be more about promoting his artists and making money off of it rather than trying to win the contest.

  11. Polle says:

    @ Eric – How about not focusing on winning Eurovision, but, you know, just start by doing well consistently, apart from whether the song could be a European hit (what does that even mean?), or the starting position. Doing well on a regular basis means the audience will rally behind the UK entry more and more all from itself. A possible win will then follow too.

  12. Thomas T. says:

    There are two elements behind the (recent) success of Germany and Sweden at Eurovision:
    1) the whole selection process is lead by someone who knows the music industry, has good taste (as proven by his previous successes) and has a lot of connections
    2) he does not make all the decisions. The final decision in selecting the song and the singer belongs to the public, preferably in a series of shows where the candidates have too woo the audience in similar circumstances as in Eurovision itself

    The second element has been overlooked in your article. But it is extremely important. Kudos to Raab for his preselection of candidates for the “Our song for Oslo” show, and for his preselection of songs, but if he had been responsible for the final selection, he would probably not have picked Lena and would definitely not have picked “Satellite”.

  13. BBAnne says:

    I personally don’t froth at the mouth at the lack of UK winning-ness, what I need is a song that I can be proud of, that I can really get behind – regardless of the scores on the night.

    The BBC promote the entry in the UK, because they are driven by audience figures – and lack of votes fuels their “everyone hates us” mentality that they have been themselves promoting since the days of Wogan.

    Would Vic Galloway be able to turn this around? It’s a big job for anyone with the balls enough to try….

  14. Eric Graf says:

    “How about not focusing on winning Eurovision, but, you know, just start by doing well consistently”

    I don’t even think these are two different things.

    My point is that the UK (unlike some other countries) will ONLY do well with a very mainstream, broad appeal song. (See: Weber, Andrew Lloyd) Of course if someone sends a better one, you won’t win anyway. But it’s the only chance you got.

    Going for a niche audience is never going to do it, regardless of which niche it is (and that includes Scotland’s New Music). You’ll end up with the pride that comes from having sent a great song that nobody voted for. Which is exactly what you got this year. Funny how nobody sees it that way after the fact.

    “The final decision in selecting the song and the singer belongs to the public, preferably in a series of shows where the candidates have too woo the audience in similar circumstances as in Eurovision itself”

    That only works with a public that takes Eurovision seriously. Sweden has that. You don’t. When your public picked the act in similar circumstances, you got Scooch.

    If (God forbid) they put me in charge of the contest at the BBC, the first thing I’d do would be to fire Graham, Sarah and Scott, and hire non-comedians to do it. No jokes, no funny twitters, just a straight commentary. The fans would howl and the ratings would plummet for a few years, but you might have a fighting chance at getting some of the prestige back. Once you do that, and demonstrate to the sacrificial lamb performers that the BBC will look after their careers before, during, and AFTER the contest, the competitive music acts will take an interest. And you’re back in contention.

    I don’t expect it’ll happen. The jokes will go on, and next year it’ll probably be the Fast Food Rockers for the UK. If you’re lucky.

    If you’re not lucky? Jedward.

  15. Ciaran says:

    “When your public picked the act in similar circumstances, you got Scooch.”

    Who got more points from less countries than Josh did in 2010 and Hump did in 2012.

    Give Scooch some credit, they got us our first set of 12 in over 5 years, and the only reason they did badly was because the fun gimick niche was already taken by Verka who performed straight before them.

    Also they are the only UK entry in this century to actually go on to have a hit with their song, Flying the Flag got to number 5 in the charts, whereas My Time which came 5th in the contest, only scored a spot in the Top 20.

  16. Ciaran says:

    “If you’re not lucky? Jedward.”

    What do you mean not lucky? I think the UK would be quite happy with a Top 8 placing actually, don’t see how that would be unlucky.

    Heck we’d even take the 19th place, better than what the Hump, and Josh got. Apart from 2009 and 2011, UK doesn’t really feature in the top 20 anymore, so even 19th would be a step up!

  17. Eric Graf says:

    “the only reason they did badly was because the fun gimick niche was already taken by Verka”

    Wow. Uh … wow. A dated novelty bubblegum dance number with double entendre lyrics that nobody but native English speakers could possibly comprehend? We’ll definitely have to agree to disagree on that one.

    Novelty bubblegum dance is a niche. Might work for Ukraine. No way it’ll ever work for the UK.

    “Heck we’d even take the 19th place”

    I don’t think Jedward would get anywhere near 19th place if they go back for a third try. I don’t think Jedward think so either.

    And oh no you wouldn’t “take” the 19th place. The UK would be whining about it just as much as they’re whining about Engelbert now. That’s the problem. The whole country sees the contest through Wogan-tinted glasses. Anything lower than 10th is a personal affront against the entire UK by the rest of Europe.

    By the way, I bitch because I care. I want to see the UK do better.

  18. Henning says:

    Everybody wants the UK to do better! Except the UK! And when somebody suggests that “we should send a dubstep number” I say why don’t you? See what Sweden has accomplished the a modern dance track. I hope that someone will take bold decisions in choosing an artist, a song and a way to present the whole thing to the rest of Europe.

  19. Thomas T. says:

    “[Letting the public have the final choice] only works with a public that takes Eurovision seriously.”
    ————–
    You have a point here. In Sweden and Germany, most of the public take Eurovision serious enough to vote for the best song, while UK viewers would probably want to nominate the most ridiculous or worst song.

    But there must be a way to find out if the song and the singers “works” in a Eurovision setting, if he/she has the required charisma, can bear the pressure, if the audience love the song etc.

    Maybe this could be solved by still staging selection shows like “Our Star for Oslo” but altering the voting procedures. It could be any combination of the following 4 groups of people who would get to vote:
    – of a panel of judges
    – a bigger group of certified ESC enthusiasts (criteria for this could be discussed)
    – the audience in the building
    – the general TV audience
    I would propose a 50% panel of judges and 50% audience in the building vote

  20. Thomas T. says:

    Oh, and one aspect I forgot to mention is that “Our Star for Oslo” type shows make the Eurovision candidates and the song known to the public and create a buzz for them. As long as this selection process with weekly shows goes on, there is a weekly stream of articles and stories about them in the media. And if there is a candidate like Lena, then the enthusiasm swaps over to the neighboring countries long before Eurovision, and the media report about it all over Europe. This is publicity which would be hard to create in other ways.

  21. Eric Graf says:

    There’s another problem for the UK. Nobody wants to do it!

    I remember watching that show where they selected Josh Dubovie. It was (and I mean this literally) painfully obvious that he got the job because, of the five choices, he sang a little less out of tune than the others. A similar situation with Scooch – they were the shiniest turd in that particular punchbowl.

    This situation was 57 years in the making, and a single solution isn’t going to fix it. We’ve got:

    (1) A clueless network, apparently obsessed with the music from years ago, back when the UK “had a chance”. In the end, they’re obviously more concerned with their own ratings than the UK’s performance in the contest, and continue doing “what works” in that regard.

    (2) A public that has been conditioned to view the contest as a cheesy crapfest, inconsequential, unwinnable and hopelessly tainted by international politics. An extreme and self-defeating assessment of the situation.

    (3) A music industry that (correctly) sees contest participation as playing career Russian Roulette with 5 bullets. Think what a fix Engelbert would be in if he couldn’t retreat back to America, where nobody saw what just happened. Look at Josh Dubovie’s reputation. Look at Pete Waterman’s!

    Given that the BBC can’t (or won’t) afford to purchase the services of the music industry’s current hit factories, there are only two reasons why a talented, sane performer would agree to participate for the UK: an opportunity for high-visibility satire, and a career situation where there’s nothing left to lose. Neither is going to get the UK on the left side of the board.

    You have to fix all three of these problems. Overcome one, and you still get torpedoed by the other two.

    Alternatively, why not just outsource the whole shebang to Sweden? Seems to work for everyone else ……

  22. Ash says:

    “Look at Josh Dubovie’s reputation. Look at Pete Waterman’s! ”

    True point but in all honesty Pete Waterman’s reputation in 2010 was that of a hitmaker 20 years past his prime, prone to rattling on about that past and did not even bother to take the time to remember the title of his song.

    It just cemented for me his reputation as someone who used to have their finger on the pulse but had truly lost that special ability.

  23. Ross says:

    HELL YES! I totally agree with every single word. And Vic would be an ideal choice. I can’t see him doing it though, unfortunately. But if he did, it would be amazing.

  24. Sharmaine Porris says:

    Touche. Solid arguments. Keep up the great spirit

  25. Zolan says:

    Wondering about the BBC’s plans for 2013 brings me back to the ideas in this article. It perfectly aligns with so much of what I would like to see from the UK, particularly with regard to the active/real British music scene.

    I keep thinking this discussion needs higher prominence and promotion where it might have more influence.

    As an outsider, my impression of the UK’s recent approach to ESC can be summed up as “spineless.” Perhaps another reason to inject more Scottish influence ;p

  26. Ewan Spence says:

    Although not announced, the BBC’s strategy for 2013 will already be decided. THe time for a change would be after the 2013 contest but before goals/budgets are set for 2014.

  27. RL says:

    Eric Graf, yea – maybe UK should import some Swedish artist that wouldn’t mind. But I guess that artist has got to have some connection with UK to be accepted, or?

    Sarah Dawn Finer?
    (I do actually have a even better alternative)

  28. Z. says:

    I could imagine Jamie Cullum as leader of the mission.

    He’s a BBC man, since he hosts a radio show. He’s a well-established musician, what may be a certain advantage in terms of credibility. He knows the industry, of course. And he seems to take a kind of interest in Eurovision: Not only did he write the German 2012 entry, in 2010 he congratulated Germany on giving back the credibility to the contest. https://www.general-anzeiger-bonn.de/lokales/kultur/Jamie-Cullum-singt-in-Koelner-Philharmonie-article22831.html

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