The Top Twenty Five Signs Of Post Eurovision Depression Written by on May 20, 2013 | 31 Comments

Just like that, we’re all back in the 9-to-5 of the real world, and the bright lights of the Eurovision Song Contest have been left behind in Malmö. Stretching out in front of us, almost a year of waiting before we all fly to Copenhagen (again) for Eurovision 2014, and if we’re all honest, we’re suffering from Post-Eurovision Depression (PED).

If you’re not sure why you’re feeling a bit low today, why every horn that sounds a little bit like the start of Euphoria gives you a little burst of excitement, and why every fashion disaster reminds you of Moje 3, you probably have the PEDs.

But let’s make sure.

25 classic symptoms of Post Eurovision Depression

1. The next five nights you’ll be watching the Grand Final with Graham Norton on Monday, with Ken Bruce on Tuesday, with Marty Whelan on Wednesday, with Sven Epiney on Thursday, with Luke Fisher and Ewan Spence on Friday, and then on your own via Eurovision.tv/esctv at the weekend.

2. When the bus to work hits a pothole, and your wrist is the only wrist that lights up with a colourful band of LEDs.

3. Putting in a holiday request for Monday May 5th – Sunday May 18th 2014, and upsetting HR because the computer doesn’t go that far ahead.

4. You see a crowd of people, and you run over to join them hoping for an ‘Igranka‘ CD and find out it’s a queue for Greggs.

5. You call up catering and demand your afternoon fika.

6. Not only are there enough power sockets at work,  your plug fits into them.

7. Getting upset at the supermarket when you’re told alcohol is not free.

8. You feel strangely naked without an accreditation pass around your neck… assuming you’ve actually taken it off.

Terry Vision's Malmo accreditatio

But what does ‘DV’ stand for?

9. Working out if you can find enough tinfoil to perform ‘Solayoh‘ at the OGAE UK Eurobash.

10. Someone offers you a Caesar Salad and you get a flashback to an operatic car crash.

11. Finding out that every hotel room in Copenhagen is already blocked out for next year.

12. Capital Gold on the radio at work isn’t cutting it, and you’re trying to work out how to get ESC Radio through the speakers.

13. Finally working out how to pronounce ‘Kedvesem‘.

14. Getting upset at having to pay for a bus ticket, because everyone knows even an F2 could travel for free on public transport.

15. Getting upset when nobody around you knows who Lynda Woodruff is.

16. Getting really upset when nobody around you knows who Sarah Dawn Finer is and they demand the original version of ‘The Winner Takes It All‘ instead of this…

17. You send a press release out to the Daily Mail before you kiss your partner, hoping to get a bit more publicity.

18. Stepping into a lift, you have an irresistible urge to mirror the movements of the only other person in the lift.

19. Trying to fit a pyro charge into the top of your pen.

20. You dream of Cyprus as you make tea yourself.

21. Singing ‘Waterfall‘ to ‘Quedate Conmigo‘.

22. Trying to work out if Yohio (aka Kevin) would have done better than Robin Stjernberg.

23. Composing an angry letter to the BBC demanding a National Final, without thinking of the consequences (because you know it would be hosted by John Barrowman).

This is 'so Eurovision'? (Paula Funnell / Flickr)

This is ‘so Eurovision’? (Paula Funnell / Flickr)

24. Wondering how easy it would be to get to Albania for this year’s ‘Festivali i Këngës‘.

25. You go online and search for a list of Post Eurovision Depression symptoms.

Now help us explore the condition

How many of them do you have? Do you have any more that should be added to the list? Let us know… and we might even dig out some ESC Insight badges and merchandise for the best ones left in the comments.

About The Author: Ewan Spence

British Academy (BAFTA) nominated broadcaster and writer Ewan Spence is the voice behind The Unofficial Eurovision Song Contest Podcast and one of the driving forces behind ESC Insight. Having had an online presence since 1994, he is a noted commentator around the intersection of the media, internet, technology, mobility and how it affects us all. Based in Edinburgh, Scotland, his work has appeared on the BBC, The Stage, STV, and The Times. You can follow Ewan on Twitter (@ewan) and Facebook (facebook.com/ewanspence).

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31 responses to “The Top Twenty Five Signs Of Post Eurovision Depression”

  1. Nathan says:

    26. Already researching potential Eurovision participants for 2014… guilty!

  2. Matt says:

    A symptom would be, to look up the interviews that sbs Australia had done over the 2 weeks eurovision was on. (A more extreme symptom would be, to look up the same interviews but have google translat the interviews that are NOT in English / the language you use in life.)

  3. Ewan Spence says:

    Matt, how did the interviews look/sound (were they audio or video?)

  4. Ewan Spence says:

    Has anyone mentioned ‘Steps’ for the UK yet?

  5. Peter says:

    Checking escinsight daily and wondering why there’s no podcast this morning.

    Walking past the cake shop and wondering which one is the devil and which is the angel.

    Getting the strange urge to replace my LCD monitors with projectors.

    Spending the rest of the week trawling through the other countries online videos to see which left the #milf joke intact.

  6. Matt says:

    Ewan, they had interviews spliced in-between songs (mostly just before and right after a ad break) were audio for the radio simulcast and visual for the tv. All the languages that was not in English but were a language that they broadcast in, was audio for sbs radio. On top of that, they also had print interview on thet website.

    As far as I could see from semi final 1 (I taped the other 2 shows), they were ok-ish. But the interview of that night was from Serbia..

  7. Anthony says:

    Sitting there at home trying to work out who a country should have sent despite, that song being the best on the night.
    Flicking through every song on your Spotify that isn’t from the contest.
    Looking for any sign of countries returning to the contest next year, despite knowing they wont say anything for the next few months.

  8. Seán says:

    PED really kicks in when you have more than one excel sheet to analysis the results and you need to use a set of Cambridge statistics tables.

  9. Sami says:

    When seeing hotel, you wait for some moments in front of it just in case if some ESC artist comes out.

  10. Ross says:

    – Refreshing the ESC Insight website over and over again in the hope that a podcast might appear. And/or looking for a podcast you may have inadvertently missed during the ESC period.

    – Waking up in the middle of the night hoping that it was all a dream and that ESC is actually next week.

    …I am guilty of both of these, and quite a few in your list. Uh oh :/

  11. Eric Graf says:

    News.Googling “Eurovision” every 20 minutes at work.

    Thinking “Oh sure, it’s ALWAYS Azerbaijan isn’t it” after doing so.

  12. Salman says:

    Well…here is THE remedy for PED:

    Registering for the Eurovision Weekend in Berlin which will take place 19th-21st July and is organized by OGAE Germany, EC Germany and OGAE Israel…this is already in 8 weeks 🙂

    More infos and registration on:

    https://www.facebook.com/events/492001207505613/?fref=ts

    or via Email:
    berlin@ogae.de

  13. You keep requesting Jeremy from IT to fix your computer.

    Looking for a tutor who can help me with my Danish. (Which I am actually doing)

    Living in the delusion that the EBU will actually release the split jury/televotes by country like they did in 2009. Or that they’ll release the split votes in a reasonable amount of time.

  14. Ewan Spence says:

    Andy, I suspect we’ll get a strange score table which will show just the ‘combined’ scores of a 100% televote result, and one of a 100% jury result. It’s going to be very hard to back-engineer to something genuinely useful to show how each country voted.

  15. Zack says:

    @Ewan re: Steps for UK 2014. One could only wish. I’d go all Belieber on them!

    Thanks for the funny article. I loved meeting everyone there!

  16. GPC2013 says:

    You ask a random football fan for a photo (because their scarf looks like it’s Swedish…)

  17. GPC2013 says:

    You book a holiday to Malta in the hope you’ll get sick while there and have to be treated by Dr. Gianluca…

  18. Eric Graf says:

    “re: Steps for UK 2014.”

    Another guaranteed trainwreck. Stop sending oldies acts!

  19. Ohioma says:

    I have the perfect person for the UK at Eurovision… Leanne Mitchell. Think about it. Make it all about the song. Leanne can pull off a mega vocal and she is hardly busy atm, and then the UK can focus on getting an amazing song….but how things have gone so far I am expecting Cilla Black

  20. Eric Graf says:

    “how things have gone so far I am expecting Cilla Black”

    Yep! Or, as I mentioned to someone when the Bonnie Tyler speculation first started, “Is Lena Zavaroni still dead?”

    Whoever it is, I’ll bet my Mocedades collection that it’ll have a song title along the lines of “Here’s Our Chance” or “Up from the Ashes” or “Ready to Have It All” or “Reaching for the Victory” or “This Time For Sure” or some such. Something they can make fun of in the coverage leading up to 2015, when the song title will be “Success is But a Dream Away” or “The Magic of My Song” or “Melody Triumphant” or “Why Won’t You Give Us Our Rightful Points You Stupid Balkans Don’t You Know Who We Are” ….

  21. Mandy says:

    You already have suggestions who should represent the UK at next years contest and its NOT Cliff Richard. BBC, are you reading?

  22. John Egan says:

    I managed to get a hotel for the 8 days counting back from the morning after the Grand Final: Cabinn Express via hotels.com. Not too flash, but a good location for transport and city centre Copenhagen.

    In a perfect world I’ll find an academic conference before or after the Eurovision (besides the ERN), which would mean the airfare’s covered.

  23. Souki says:

    Leaving my pink Eurocafé wristband on until it rots off eventually

  24. @JohnEgan We’ll be hotel buddies as I’ve already booked there, too!

    @Ewan Yeah, I know. But there’s always a sliver of hope that, this year, things will be different!

  25. My first Eurovision was the most unexplainable, emotional, testing, exciting time of my life. Performing alongside bonnie Tyler and having such a great team of people around us made this special moment the greatest experience. Am now seriously feeling the blues and want to be back in malmo. Feels like a distant dream. X

  26. Gewinn says:

    Regarding #1 it’s more like “the week after the contest you visit all the national broadcaster’s homepages to watch the contest again – in all languages you can or cannot understand…”

    Starting in Sweden… (http://9ox.net/n)
    continuing in Spain(http://9ox.net/l), then Austria (http://9ox.net/k), Ireland (http://9ox.net/1) and so on…

  27. Peter says:

    Continuing Gewinn’s thought, we also have Netherlands:
    http://www.nederland1.nl/gemist/53895

    Norway:
    http://tv.nrk.no/serie/eurovision-song-contest/muhu13006313/18-05-2013

    and Germany:
    http://www.eurovision.de/videos/videoindex101_archiveID-videoarchiv173_videoID-esc1717.html

    Not that I’ve been going through them myself or anything 😉

  28. Chad Brown says:

    Keeping the Eurovision final on the sky+ for weeks just so I can watch the Swedish Smorgasbord again and again and again! Carola falling over will NEVER get old!! 😉

  29. […] Eurovision research events). And for the moment, those of who feel the love are nursing our P.E.D. (Post-Eurovision Depression) and counting the months until the madness starts […]

  30. […] the depressive power of not being able to get to the contest at all? It may be a bit of a downer to return to paying for public transport, but imagine forlornly staring into a drawer at a 3-year-old accreditation pass and wondering where […]

  31. […] from London heading back to the North of England with a serious case of Post Eurovision Depression (The Dreaded PEDs), something which at one time I wasn’t sure was a ‘real thing’. After the most […]

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