We’re already at the penultimate installment of the Top 100 Eurovision Songs ever, you’ll know from previous weeks that all Eurovision entries have been ranked in reverse order based on the percentage of points they achieved against what they could have got, if of course they received top marks from everyone else.
We’ve already counted down numbers 100 to 21 – they are all available on this YouTube playlist if you’d rather your computer count them down for you. The next highly anticipated batch of songs, 20 to 11, are coming up – in good time!
As you know by now I like to have a little look at those songs that came nowhere near the top 100. Not to laugh at their misfortune, although on occasion I couldn’t resist, but to put a little context on those entries that everyone thought had done well but in the grand scheme of things, erm, were rubbish.
#418 – Lipstick by Jedward (Ireland, 2011, came 8th with 23.61%)
The Grimes twin’s first attempt, many would say should be their only attempt, did a fairly respectable 8th place last year with their strongly backed e-number routine. It’s clear they digest as much sugar as they can before they go on stage. Ireland clearly believe there is more life in these two by voting them in again – can you imagine how insufferable these two are going to be if they win? Doesn’t bear thinking about.
#582 – Nel blu dipinto di blu (Volare) by Domenico Modugno (Italy, 1958, came 3rd with 14.44%)
Is this the most famous eurosong ever? It has been covered by an incredible 45 times at least, David Bowie has a version – which other ESC track can boast that? It was expected to wipe the board in 1958 but it didn’t happen, it remains one of the most iconic 50’s tracks and it was tied into Eurovision after winning San Remo. Way down the list at #582 – this isn’t a song that will ever be forgotten, can’t say the same about Lipstick!
#288 – Parlez-vous français? by Baccara (Luxembourg, 1978, came 7th with 32.02%)
Now Luxembourg have sent us some class in the past, Lara Fabian, Corine Hermès to name a couple, but they have also sent some total crap. But I love this crap. It is really bad, their accents are appalling, their on-stage performance is terrible, the song is almost as bad as this year’s Latvian song, but I do love this. Camp isn’t the word. You could just get away with this in the late 70s, they have done ‘crap’ extremely well. Learn Latvia!
#243 – Disco Tango by Tommy Seebach (Denmark, 1979, came 6th with 35.19%)
Another kitch classic, I remember hearing this track playing in a pub’s disco night in Wakefield, Yorkshire, in the 1990s. A great song from the late Tommy, he had some good songs, this one makes you want to tap your feet and have a shifty hand-clap.
#248 – Fra Mols til Skagen by Aud Wilken (Denmark, 1995, came 5th with 34.85%)
Oh yes, this is great. Another Dansk song but sung by an east German, this stood out like an eskimo in the desert that year. Smokey, refined and beautifully sung, this is one of my all-time faves – disappointingly at number 248 but then again it only got to number 5 on the night. This would never have done so well in the era of tele voters – the jurors still very much play an important role in my view. I still play this…
#103 – Hemel en aarde by Edsilia Rombley (Netherlands, 1998, came 4th with 52.08%)
Just missing out on a top 100 spot – by 0.3% – Edsilia’s amazing song sits just outside the top 9% of Eurovision songs ever. I loved – correction – love this. She showed her potential way back in 1998 and I had the pleasure of meeting her when she tried again in 2007 – albeit with a song nowhere near as good. Her infectious laugh just makes you smile – this was the Netherlands’ best-placed entry for many, many years. Love it.
Alrighty, here we go, breaking the top 20 now we start with…
#20 – Diggi-loo diggi-ley by the Herreys, (Sweden, 1984, came 1st with 67.13%)
Diggi-loo diggi-ley – is this a Eurovision song title and a half, or what? This was one of my earliest memories for Eurovision winners – when I was 13 it was great and I find myself still singing along to it. The cliché or clichés is still a well-known track across Europe, there are several remix versions and even the odd remake, this is truly a Euro classic. Thank God it’s in Swedish – the English lyrics are awful.
#19 – Hard Rock Hallelujah by Lordi (Finland, 2006, came 1st with 67.59%)
They waited 4.6 billion years for a win, when it came it came big! This was huge, it got everyone talking about Eurovision – even people I know that have no interest in Eurovision were somehow captivated by this group. I know there shouldn’t be a Euro-style – this is still not a Eurovision song, but it wiped the board and stood out like a sore thumb. Did it change Eurovision as expected in the years since their win? Maybe. Didn’t do them any harm anyway.
Not sure who’s more scary. Lordi, or Carola.
#18 – En un mundo nuevo by Karina (Spain, 1971, came 2nd with 68.24%)
Spain’s second highest chart position in the top 100 – a nice little song that scored very well on the night. Sing it, girl. The backing singers are enjoying themselves.
#17 – Hold Me Now by Johnny Logan (Ireland, 1987, came 1st with 68.25%)
His other song comes in at 17 – I think I said all I can about him last week – not much to add – still a pain in the ass.
#16 – A-ba-ni-bi by Izhar Cohen & Alpha Beta (Israel, 1978, came 1st with 68.86%)
Childish gobbledygook won in 1978 – a track well suited to the ‘70s that it came from – this is Israel’s best ever placing in the top 100. A catchy little ditty – I can see how it charmed the judges back then. Maybe they were all a little more gullible than they are now. A good performance through. Nice perm.
#15 – Ding-a-Dong by Teach-In (Netherlands, 1975, came 1st with 70.37%)
We’ve broken through the 70% mark now. This is the Netherlands’ highest placing on our chart – and I adore it. ABBA was a hard act to follow from the previous year – this did a great job – catchy isn’t the word. It’s a sunny, happy and gay (!) song that makes you smile every time you hear it. Does me, anyway. Need to go and pick some flowers.
#14 – Fly on the Wings of Love by the Olsen Brothers (Denmark, 2000, came 1st with 70.65%)
Denmark’s most successful Eurovision song of all-time, who ever would have thought this was going to steel the table way back in 2000? Denmark’s not really been known for their memorable euro entries, who the hell are Hot Eyes or Birthe Wilke? Sorry Denmark. But this even hit the UK charts with a fantastic remake. A great song.
#13 – Un, deux, trois by Catherine Ferry (France, 1976, came 2nd with 72.06%)
Believe it or not, this is France’s most successful Eurovision entry – and it didn’t even win. Second place was the best this could do in 1976 and I can see why. It kinda loses something in the live performance however but still good.
#12 – Everybody by Tanel Padar & Dave Benton (Estonia, 2001, came 1st with 75.00%)
I still don’t know how this won, there were so many better songs in 2001 – France?!? But it did, Tanel and Dave went their separate ways in the months after Eurovision. I obviously don’t need to tell you that this is Estonia’s highest placing – but in my view certainly is not their best.
#11 – Après toi by Vicky Leandros (Luxembourg, 1972, came 1st with 75.29%)
Another Greek representing this tiny country, Vicky pelts it out in 1972 and won for her reward. A classic Eurovision song, it has everything – great performance Vicky – even now still sounds great. I don’t remember it winning of course. I was 1.
And there we go – next week the top 10 – and boy it gets exciting. Don’t forget – check out the YouTube playlist link below and listen to your heart’s content. Last week you did your ironing to it – this week – sort your video collection into alphabetical order.